Choices

For your consideration…..

I could have called this blog many different things but ultimately settled on “choices.” It is about personal responsibility. We have blogs about it many times. However, today is different because it is about teaching personal responsibility to our children. It is directed to us as parents, grand parents, teachers, citizens etc.

We all want to protect our children. We all want to make their lives joyful and loving. We all want to make their lives as easy as possible. We all want to eliminate their fears and concerns.

Our message today tells us that while our intentions are good our methods are not always. All too often we solve problems versus teach problem solving. Too often we do not give our children space to make choices….good or bad.

I remember one day when my oldest daughter was in preschool. I went to pick her up and observed the end of class through a window. I was stunned to see her behavior. She did not follow directions, was disruptive and ultimately the teacher had her stand in front of her for the rest of the activity. My grandmother was at the house when I returned. I was upset and relayed what I had reserved. I’ll never forget what she said to me, “Ah, little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.” That statement had so much impact on me.

It is children’s job to push the limits. It is how they grow. It is our job to stand firm when they have reached their age appropriate limit and move the limit as they grow and mature. Children like knowing someone is in charge. It makes them feel safe. However, they do not want to lose their personal power.

Yes, from the time children are born, they know their personal power and want to protect it. From birth they know how to use it to get what they need. Methods change as they mature but the basic instinct is the same.

To maintain and grow personal power we must be allowed to make choices and take personal responsibility for them….good and bad.

As caring adults we want to step in and “make everything right.” But when we do this, we are unintentionally usurping children’s personal power.

Of course, we have to keep children safe. That goes without saying. But whenever possible, we need to let children make decisions and expect them to “own” them. It is not our job to “fix” bad decisions. It is our job to counsel, help them see options and the lessons learned.

It is up to us to provide guidance, offer advice and even choices. Then whenever possible, let them decide their course of action.

Making good choices and personal responsibility is not something we magically get when we turn 18. It takes years. If children do not learn consequences of choices and personal responsibility as children they have to learn it as adults.

We recognize these people. It is always someone elses fault. They are constantly passing off work and decisions. They need to make others look bad to make themselves look good etc. It is just as my grandmother said, those little problems became big problems and they do not have the skill set to deal with them.

The most loving thing we can do for our children is to allow them use their power to make choices and then encourage them to be responsible for them. It provides them valuable life lessons and the confidence they need to be a responsible, prosperous, caring adult.

That is the HOPE. And so it is.

Bit by bit, piece by piece, HOPE by HOPE action steps anyone can take….

-Meditate/pray…ask…”What is my next step for my highest good and the highest of all?”

-Drink lots of water.

-Get outdoors and take in at least 10 deep breaths.

-Remember we are all teachers and councelors.

What made me smile yesterday…..

-A relaxing day.

-Watching the Olympics,

-Reading a book. I have never read a book like this. It is terrible but it makes me laugh out loud.

-Family adventures.

Love, Blessings and Gratitude,

Rev. Chris