Own It

For your consideration………

So, how did yesterday go? I have to say mine did not go as expected. With all of the best intentions, it went south with a bang. In the Sam’s Club gas station chaos, I turned into a raving lunatic. Who is this woman? It felt like I was someone else having an out-of-body experience, separate and watching the whole thing. Words I have sworn to ban from my vocabulary came from no where. A strange man ended yelling, “Merry Christmas.” My response being, “I HOPE you get “learning to follow directions for it.” All of which made my daughter, Alex, furious and we got into World War III. Yikes.

She ended up saying something to me that really set me back. “She said, Mom, we only get into it when you have these temper outbursts.” I think “really?” and she acts like this is a regular event. I am pretty proud of how calm I have become. In fact the last time I was really mad  was when we visited her in Washington. And the time before that was when I was on a road trip and my husband had to call a plumber. It was ok until he charged my husband $650 for a new kitchen faucet he broke while changing out the hot water heater  my husband had paid him to install the day before. It still would have been ok if it was a great faucet but it is the cheapest thing I have ever seen.

Why this big discrepancy in thinking between my daughter and I?

Finally, I remembered the message for the day and started to do as we were asked and drill down to understand. I did the “because”. It helped and we managed to go about the errands we had set out to do. But I was reminded of it again today with today’s message.

When I did the “because and why”, I realized that I am always calm and rarely ever angry when something happens to me. Yet I am outraged when something is done to someone else and most especially my family. In yesterday’s incident, my daughter did not want to stop for gas. To myself I am thinking she is just like her dad and she’ll see it looks more chaotic than it really is. I could not have been more wrong. People were ignoring the direction arrows and it was simply nuts. I could feel her tension at it all and everything escalated from there. Deep down I felt I should have ignored the place, paid more somewhere else and protected our day.

As you can imagine, yesterday’s incident was the last thing I wanted to have brought to my attention in meditation today. Yet it showed up again and I was asked to drill down even farther for today’s message.

Here it is. Of course, adults must protect children. But as they get older, stronger and mature they alone are responsible for themselves. Parent, spouses and friends are responsible for themselves. Everyone must own their own life and life lessons, love, joy, HOPE etc.

It is not our job nor our responsibility to make everything “smooth sailing” for someone else whether they expect it or not. If we can help and be of service, so be it. But it should not be at our own expense, because in the end that is a lose, lose situation as yesterday demonstrated. That whole scenario should have been so minor….a “so what”. Yet it spun out of control because I had my heart set on perfection for my daughter’s visit which (A.) is unrealistic and (B) not my job. I obviously have a big enough job owning my own life lessons.

That is the HOPE. And so it is.

Bit by bit, piece by piece, HOPE by HOPE action steps anyone can take…..

-Meditate/pray…..focus on YOU.

-Drink lots of water.

-Get outdoors and take in at least 10 deep breaths.

-Show your gratitude.

What made me smile yesterday……

-Some successful errands and shopping.

-Being with my daughter.

-A chill night in relaxing.

-We treated ourselves to snacks.

Love, Blessings and Gratitude,

Rev. Chris