Efficient

For your consideration….

Anyone who knows me will be shocked when I say today’s message came in via my husband…sort of.

The message was exactly this, “Sometimes the most efficient way is not the best way.”

I know many people who are efficient, myself included. I pride myself on my efficiency and am hard on myself when I am inefficient. So today’s message was a bit of a surprise. Thus I was presented with my husband as an example.

My husband was recently diagnosed with dementia. He has become very limited in what he can do. Of course, I have picked up the slack. I try to do it in the most efficient way possible. I thought I was doing a pretty good job until yesterday. He had a doctor appointment which he hates. He also had one the day before so he was pretty crabby. Still I did not expect this conversation…

Bruce, “I think we should sell the house, split the money and go our separate ways.”

Me, “What are you talking about? Where would you go?”

Bruce, “Somewhere.”

I passed the conversation off as him being crabby and because he had asked me to cancel the doctor appointment and I wouldn’t do it. But the conversation really nagged at me because he would never ever ask for a divorce. So later in the day as we drove home from the doctor I brought it up again…

Me, “Bruce, you really hurt my feelings this morning when you asked for a divorce.”

Bruce, “That is not what I said.”

Me, “You said you wanted to sell the house and go our separate ways.”

Bruce, “I just tired of being bossed around. I’m not going anywhere.”

My poor husband has lost so much control. I really try to not take control of anything he can do himself, while at the same time not letting him make me his door mat. We are in new territory.

As I thought about it, I can see where he thinks I am bossy. The thing is he is not always confused. Sometimes he has it together but I have switched gears into the “in charge” mode. I had stopped assessing first which would be the best way. The best way is to help him hold on to as much of his power as he can.

Efficiency is an awesome skill to have. It is effective but not always the best way to effectiveness. We are reminded today to make sure that our efficiency does not do unnecessary harm to others.

That is the HOPE. And so it is.

Bit by bit, piece by piece, HOPE by HOPE action steps anyone ca-n take…

-Affirm…”I am loved.”

-Meditate/pray…ask…”What is my next step for my highest good and the highest good of all?”

-Drink lots of water.

-Get outdoors and take in at least 10 deep breaths.

-Be efficient…when possible…when it is the best way.

What made me smile yesterday…

-Bruce has graduated to yearly vascular appointments.

-A beautiful day.

-Catching up with Alex.

-Fun euchre night.

Love, Blessings and Gratitude,

Rev. Chris